Friday, August 10, 2012

Not Visa...

But it's a still a V card to many. Virginity is not something plastic. Not something to be used just randomly. Even more it is nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to who you are.

To me my virginity is part of who makes me who I am. I do not consider to be a loser. I feel as though my body is for me, God, and the man worthy in God's eyes to see it. My virginity is not something I just want to lose. Quite frankly I don't like how society puts that either. It can never truly be found again. You can asked God to forgive you if you give your virginity to someone else though you will still have your memories of it.

One of the verses that people quote when talking about tattoos and piercings is a main reason I keep my virginity:
You should know that your body is a temple for the Holy Spirit who is in you. You have received the Holy Spirit from God. So you do not belong to yourselves, because you were bought by God for a price. So honor God with your bodies. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
So many young teenagers pledge their abstinence then don't follow through because many come into the contact with nonbelievers pushing them or believers fallen off the path and bring them down to their level. The body is a treasure and gift from God. So many people look at what is wrong with their body rather than looking at what is good about it.

Society is filled with temptation, distractions and distortions about sex and our body image. So many girls give into the guy that says they want their bodies just because they feel as though they can do no better. Or even worse that the guy is a dream for them and they give in. It is the same for guys though many won't admit. For guys it is actually a shameful thing to still have their virginity...

I'm not even joking. Chris's friends and acquaintances literally gaped at him when he told them that he was a virgin again and regretted having sex. Many actually called him a liar. The hurt was in his eyes. He has strangers telling him that he feels differently about that subject and is just wanting to impress me. Now that makes my blood boil.

I finally did asked him how did he feel. He was quiet for a long time. That scared me, because the thought of 'Oh no. Perhaps he did do this just for me," came running through my mind. "I'm not lying." His gazed flickered to my face, searching in my face for some sign that I believed him. I touched his hand and then grasped his hand. "I believe you, but do you believe it yourself?" His gaze finally came full circle to just my face. A darken looked terrified me but then I learned why they were there. "I am tempted by you right now. Your touch and your golden eyes are eating me alive. I do not want to hurt you or disgust myself."

I stopped him after that last phrase. "Why would you be disgusted with yourself?" Again another long pause from him. "I would be shattering everything with God, and everything with you. I think I am doing it now just by telling you this!" He was frantic by that point. I put my hands on his shoulders, and one word calmed him instantly. "Pray." After we both had prayed. He asked me why. I smiled. "Even Jesus was tempted. Not by sex, but by the devil."

Then the Spirit led Jesus into the desert to be tempted by the devil.Jesus fasted for forty days and nights. After this, he was very hungry. 3 The devil came to Jesus to tempt him, saying, "If you are the Son of God, tell these rocks to become bread."
Jesus answered, "It is written in the Scriptures, 'A person lives not on bread alone, but by everything God says.' "Deuteronomy 8:3
Then the devil led Jesus to the holy city of Jerusalem and put him on a high place of the Temple.The devil said, "If you are the Son of God, jump down, because it is written in the Scriptures: 
    'He has put his angels in charge of you. 
       They will catch you in their hands 
    so that you will not hit your foot on a rock.' " — Psalm 91:11–12
Jesus answered him, "It also says in the Scriptures, 'Do not test the Lord your God.' "Deuteronomy 6:16
Then the devil led Jesus to the top of a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and all their splendor.9 The devil said, "If you will bow down and worship me, I will give you all these things." 
Jesus said to the devil, "Go away from me, Satan! It is written in the Scriptures, 'You must worship the Lord your God and serve only him.' "Deuteronomy 6:13
So the devil left Jesus, and angels came and took care of him. 
— Matthew 4: 1-11
You could tell Chris felt better after that. Is that saying he won't be tempted again? Nope, but at least now he knows how to combat it. How do I know? Well I gave in to temptation myself. No I am a real virgin but not as innocent as some would think. I had a boyfriend. Who really pushed sexual actions and phrases at me. "Oh I have blue balls." "Oh I haven't had any in so long." I always find it ironic when it is a girl they don't like or don't want their problems instantly go away.

I only partly gave in. I felt disgusted. I became even more upset because I lied saying I was fine. I became sick with the way things were turning. The guy kept talking about how he would rub my back and couldn't wait to hug or kiss me. It was never a question if I wanted him to or not. I felt completely disgusted. I was bitter and cold by the time I realized what it had done. When I left him and the place suddenly everything was my fault. I don't care. I made peace with God. I feel clean and happy.

When Chris came around he barely touched me. It honestly felt good that a guy respected me enough to where he was unsure of touching me. I had people say well you didn't actually let him take anything from you. He didn't rape you or really force you to do anything. I laugh at those people. Really? You don't think God hears our thoughts and daydreams? That is why I was so ashamed. Charles Stanley summed it up for people that think I wasn't totally mortified.

You must never sacrifice your relationship with God for the sake of a relationship with another person. - Charles Stanley

I had to be able to forgive myself and the other person. I do but I will never forget it. Why? Because it was a moving point in my life. It took a lot of soul searching when I got out of Tuscaloosa. I read so many things. I realized I am worth a whole lot. I'm alive. I am healthy give or take a few things. I should have more respect for myself. My new life began. I have a lot more confidence knowing that.

Chris told me he could tell that I was guarded about my body and how it should be treated. His respect has not wavered at all. He ALWAYS asks is it ok to touch me even if it is just a pause to search my face for the go ahead look from me. I am the same way with him. Sometimes we joke around and slap each other to just joke.
Marriage should be honored by everyone, and husband and wife should keep their marriage pure. God will judge as guilty those who take part in sexual sins. - Hebrews 13:4
I will admit. Yes I went and seen Magic Mike and I've now read 50 Shades of Grey. I do not feel like these things make an astounding impact on my life. I joke, but I do not mean any of it. I know what God wants from me. It is just like me eating Ben & Jerry ice cream. Just because I am eating the ice cream does not mean I am in support of the LGB community. I love them, but I do not support them. I do not judge. Just as I don't support molesters or murders.

A study published in 2011 by the National Center for Health Statistics says about 97 percent of men and 98 percent of women ages 25 to 44 aren’t virgins. That's really sad because I know so many of them are not married. The age for when people start having sex lowers every year. American Girl Company stated that 9 year olds, nine year olds, are having pregnancy tests done these days. I am almost willing to bet money I had no idea what sex was at that age. I was sheltered and for that I'm grateful.

A fellow blogger wrote something that made sense to me. "This is a world where people say stuff like this to me:
'Don’t you want to learn what you like in sex, and whether you’ll get that from a guy, before you agree to marry?'
;If it turns out the sex isn’t good, it’ll be really difficult to stay loyal.'
'Do you really want to ruin your wedding night that way?'

True story.
I understand the concern, because we live in a world where the quest in relationships–clearly–is primarily for intuitive sexual compatibility, underlain by our culture’s first loves: uninterrupted satisfaction and effortless gratification. This is a world that says sex is recreational, and a bodily function like eating or breathing, and that it’s only good when it doesn't require patience, practice or communication. Sex, the world says, is for pleasure.
And so I understand why my waiting strikes the world as absurd. It is absurd to wait, if the purpose of sex is pleasure.
But I have news for the world.
We who save sex for marriage aren’t waiting to have the same kind of sex the world is having. We will never have that kind of sex.
For us, the purpose of sex is procreation and unity. We believe we are not designed to decide to unite with someone because the sex is “good.” We are designed to create a unique, pleasurable sexual relationship with the person with whom we are already united in marriage.

The world says “marriage is just a sheet of paper” and it “never lasts.” But the world doesn’t see this:
That marriage requires a definitive love and a rejection of the use of a person. It is designed to result in the epic, beautiful, necessary and mutual destruction of self absorption. It is intended to be a reflection of Christ’s covenant with the church.
That if you are unwilling to be patient, to practice and to communicate in sex, odds are good you are unwilling to be patient, to practice and to communicate in other parts of your relationship (or will be after awhile).
That for people who reject definitive love, resist the eradication of self absorption and are unwilling to be patient, to practice and to communicate in relationships, the world is right:
A marriage that is just a sheet of paper. And when it is, it will not last."

I think she summed it up quite nicely. I had a talk with Chris just this morning about sex. I was amazed. He had been researching on Christians marital sex. I realized then just how much he cared about me and God at the same time. So while some people scoffed and say oh I'm just writing this or I'm sure they done more than she lets on. Think what you want. Judge me if you want. My judgement day isn't today nor are you my judge.

My virginity is one of my gifts from God. I keep it until I stand before God, my family and my husband.

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