Saturday, June 28, 2014

Review: 50 Shades Of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream

Almost a month ago Chris and I went sex toy shopping. Well of course since everyone calls us Christian and Ana we had to check out the 50 Shades sex of our store. You can view the rest of the haul here.

One thing we bought was the 50 Shades Of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream.

And as much as we try to hide it the fact remains we are into that scene.

This cream is great though. I haven even used it as regular body cream. It really does soothe irritated skin. It greatly reduces the redness as well. It was calm and soothing. It is infused with almond oil, arnica and cocoa butter.

My favorite though is the smell. The aroma of sandalwood, bergamot and musk is fantastic. It just makes me feel so much like a, well, goddess.

Disney Days, Day 1: What's This?

Oh how I love this movie. Jack is my favorite Disney character. It's hard to explain why I love his character so much.

I believe a lot of it goes back to when I was a kid and I would sit and watch this with +Bridgitte  time after time. We have grown up collecting memorabilia for this movie. Her more so than me. In fact she is fixing to have her third child which is a girl and she is naming her Sally.

But for me it is all about Jack. I just love how he thinks and what he does. It will always be dear to me in my heart.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Make Me Blush..

This was my first naughty subscription box. It took some time for me to muster up the courage to order this last month and honestly? I AM SO FREAKING THRILLED I DID!

Topco Go Deep Oral Mints : These tingly fresh mints will help with the gag reflex of oral “activities."

My review: Umm yep they do ask they say! It's not a real bad numbing. I felt like I had poured Anbesol down my throat and in my mouth. My gag reflex are pretty low but this helped even more. ;)

Lucky Me Lucky You- Flavored Pleasure Towelette: These add aroma and flavor to enhance oral “activities”.

Chris's review: I prefer a natural taste but this was not bad at all. It was nice and flavorful. 

Doc Johnson Mood Lube Lubricant : This is a water based lubricant for well….you know.

Our review: We decided to try this with a toy to help stimulate me and I can say it worked well. I felt slightly greasy but it wasn't terrible. I still prefer the organic lube that we have. 

Pheromone Infused Perfume Oil by Jelique: This is designed to stimulate “appeal” and will elevate confidence and mood.

My review: Honestly? I couldn't tell a difference when we used this. Chris said it did appeal to him. Who knows if it is just a mind thing or not.

JimmyJane Indulgences: This little box is packed with goodies. This kit comes with: two Proper Attire Condoms, ICONIC BULLET Vibrator, love decoder Feather Tickler, and
Good Clean Love Almost Naked Personal Lubricant. The love decoder is like those paper thing you made in school, with an adult twist. 

Our review: The Love Decoder is funny. Iconic Bullet vibrator is alright. It's nothing really to get excited about though it can jump start things. The feather tickler was nice to have for some fun. We have not used condoms. Chris is still reading into those. Nor have we used the personal lubricant. 

$27.00-1 Month, $25.00/month -3 Months, $24.00/month- 6 Months, $21.00/month-1 Year

Not a bad price at all for trying out new things. I have to say it's interesting to see what we will get to try out.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 30: It Matters Not What Someone is Born, but What They Grow to Be.

Dear 15 year old  me,

You did what you were suppose to back then. You stay invisible. You held your family together. You worked hard and pushed yourself. Life was simply back then. You are going to face a lot in a while. You won't believe what will come in the next ten years. Your eyes would bulge trust me. Just be glad you liked nerdy things.

Dear self,

How did we make here? We went from being a nobody. To a girlfriend, to a mother, to a fiance, to a bride, and now a wife. You waited and you conquered saving yourself until marriage. You adopted your brother when you didn't have to do so. You are changing the world. Be proud and keep being bold. It will pay off in the end.

Dear 40 year old me,

I know you are probably tired. I know you are still pushing though. The world is probably more corrupt now or so it would seem. You are a wonderful mom, don't doubt that. You are still gorgeous and nerdy. Keep smiling. God is still in control.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Fresh Start Challenge Day 29: Polypropylene

Yes this is a play off of Hunter's.

Mrs.Winthrop was peeking out of her window again. She still enjoyed watching her neighbors even after getting to know them on a more personal note.

There was the newest newlywed couple: The lanky model looking guy and his bombshell pin up voluptuous looking bride had two little ones. One was a newborn and the other was a kindergartner who was wild. She may have been 5 but she was going on 20. They were both pretty laid back but they had their moments like any good couple. They had a lot of spunk in them. His bride was not a quiet one at night when the children weren't home. Mrs.Winthrop just laughed when she saw the children go stay with someone else. She knew to sleep with the TV playing that night.

Then the couple that couldn't keep their clothes on for money. The blonde was very hyper most of the time. And being naked and hyper at the same time caused for a lot of jiggling and shaking of body parts. This made the blonde's husband very happy. It's hard to hide the hard happiness of man when he isn't wearing clothes. Mrs.Winthrop would usually discourage this kind of behavior unless they were part of a nudist colony but that couple was always so bubbly she couldn't help but laugh at the situation. She just always remembers to give them sunblock for special occasions.

There was also the couple that made Mrs. Winthrop invest in a better broom and vacuum cleaner. This couple was very cheerful as well. The reason she had invested in the top of the line broom and vacuum cleaner because this couple would have made Hanzel and Gretel jealous. This couple always leaves a trail of glitter and cookie crumbs where ever they go. They have a tiny little girl as well. She is bandaged up but just as gorgeous as her mother. Mrs. Winthrop at first thought the child may have just received a blonde gene but she learned that the little girl was in fact adopted.

"Oh God!" Was heard a lot from the other Victorian style home in the circle at the end of the road. At first Mrs.Winthrop thought the couple just had sex a lot then she realized that the couple had sex all the time and that the man was the pastor for the local Methodist church. She liked the couple regardless of their sex obsession. She knew most of the ones in the circle couldn't keep their hands off each other. Probably a good thing all the girls in the group worked at a daycare. For even this couple had a very curious child already on their hands. She was constantly running and swishing her hands through the yards.

Down on the hill from the end of the road sat the plantation house that had been Disneyfied. The tall blonde that looked a lot like the naked blonde lived there with her hunk of a husband and two little blonde girls that looked so much like their mother Mrs. Winthrop swore they were lying when they told her that the girls weren't their the tall girl's biological daughters. She loved going into that house. It always smelled heavenly and it was covered in Disney which made her feel young.

Then the biggest house in the neighborhood belonged to the most gorgeous, sexiest, stunning, charming, Italian man and his French wife. They were relatively quiet as well except in the mornings when they were working out or the husband was leaving in his sport car or on his motorcycle. Their son toddled around the yard with his plush duck in his hands a lot just plopping down wherever he felt like was a good spot. Mrs. Winthrop just smiled as she watched the wife's stomach grow. She was taking bets that it would be a boy for the couple.

Mrs.Winthrop loved this neighborhood and the people in it. She smiled as she walked across her wood flooring to call the exterminator to make sure they came out to spray for bugs. She couldn't stand the thoughts of rodents and bugs getting around her home and the ones she loved.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 28: Hit the Dirt.

Much like my best friend +Hunter  in her blog HERE, I am seriously OCD when it comes to being prepared and being clean. People laugh at us because we even organize our cleaning supplies and organizing supplies. Well we are just Type A people on that subject.

I take being prepared for severe weather very seriously. I am strong supporter of James Spann and his weather weeks during February and March. They will tell you just about anything about how to be prepared for weather.

In my post "Ready or Not" I supply the link for my Emergency Prepareness Board on Pinterest. Trust me I utilize these ideas now. Chris and I both are very serious on this matter. We follow Red Cross and FEMA instructions to the T. We have water and food on supply for everyone. We take the precautions for the pets.

When a warning goes off we usually have been prepared well in advance. We usually start watching the storms once they cross state lines.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 27: He Put A Ring On It

There is being proposed to by the person that came into your life and made everything right. And, then there is being proposed to by that person with the ring that your deceased mother wore while she was married to your father.

I am now married, the picture was snapped a few months after Chris proposed, but I love the tenderness of this picture because Chris took this picture so randomly. That ring means so much to both of us. For him it shows what lengths he goes to for me.

For me that ring was the bound that my dad loved my mother. I smile sometimes when the light catches just perfectly and the sparkles dances on the wall. Or I grin when Jackjack rubs his finger over it. It makes me thinks that my mom is approving of my life at that very moment.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 26: Love Potion #9

Even in the books before the movies came out I was obsessed with the man that loathed Harry. I wanted to hurt people because to me even in the books Snape stood out. Who knows, maybe it was his long greasy hair or his sneer that drew me in.

I even loved him when he was so mean to Harry. Maybe it was my love for bad guys that seemed like that they had a soft side. And soft side he had. I was a complete mess when Death Hallows came out. I was working at Books A Million in Huntsville then and I remember I sat in the park by myself and cried my heart out. I read that entire book in one day. 

My love for Snape exploded. I felt so distraught when he passed on. I hated that she killed him. I was mad. Then I realized he was with Lily. What did it matter what I thought? He was with the person he loved forever and of course, Always.

Saturday, June 14, 2014

What Would You Do?

If Chris walked away from your right now what would you do?

I can easily say I would let him. I have told him from day one if walks away I am not chasing him. I will be crushed but I have so much to live for in my life to end it. I am not going to beg like a lot of people would or scream. If a person tries to walk away from you why beg and scream? That just means they are going to be miserable or forced into liking something they don't like.

I can honestly say it would be a while before I would date again, if I did. I think I would eventually. I have realized that I am worth having. So I do believe I would date again. 

However, this blog was written after someone asked me this question. The likely event of this actually happening is slim to none. We have had plenty of counseling and have endless plans. Our lives are entwined with the grace of God. We got this. We have each other and God.

Besides we are each other's new dream.

Plan All On Me I Showed Up with My EC and Ruined Your Chaotic Mess

Cause I got plans perfectly organized.

June 12th was a magical day for me! I ordered my fourth Erin Condren Planner. This is was, however, the biggest and largest order I had ever made from Erin. 

I love her planners for many different reasons:

  • Very organized.
  • Functional
  • Adapt to any life style.
  • Colorful
  • Spacious
  • Fun
  • Stylish
New reasons to love her planner:

  • New designs
  • Changeable covers
  • Extras included
  • Better shipping 

People wonder what in the world I keep up with in my planner. What I used to use it for was things like this from this post two years ago located HERE.

What I plan on using my new upcoming planner are these things:

  • Jackjack - Between his milestones, his appointments (we are still in remission stages), play dates, and his schooling (yes we are starting already.)
  • Wedding - We are still having our huge wedding where everyone can see the joy of us coming together as one family. We are still doing all the bells and whistles and I have to keep track of that.
  • Ovulation - In August things are changing for me. My husband and I will start TTC and I couldn't be happier. I am going to keep up with things that deal with ovulation and health in that respect.
  • Pregnancy - At the bottom you will see a neat product +Jessica  found for us soon to be mothers with an EC LP. But this will also help me keep track of symptoms and when I felt them. Also midwife meetings and when to have conferences with them.
  • Work - Between the daycare (I do have the EC Lesson Planner) appointments with parents and vendors but also my blog appointments. I take my jobs very seriously.
  • Projects - I love to sew, knit, scrapbook, and craft different things. I like to do a couple a month this will help keep track of what I am doing that particular month.
  • Meals - Again +Jessica found something amazing for meal planning. I am like +Hunter  wondering how hard it would be to make our own inserts?
  • Vacations - Even though many of our vacations are spontaneous, there are many that are planned out as well. So that will help me drastically.
  • Bills - Come on. This will really help me. Especially knowing that my HP stamps will fit in the back.
  • Exercise and Fitness - Hydration, vitamins, work outs, weights and milestones.
  • Beauty - Just different things about make-up and different fashion ideas.

A few things I am picking up this time for extra for my planners:

Harry Potter 7 Inspired "Always" Deathly Hallows  - Omg this is going to go amazingly with my gold ring planner! 

Assorted Washi Tape - These will not be the only ones I purchase. I want HP looking washi tape and of course Disney.

Daily Planning Sheet - Woodland Creatures Design - Not a 100% I am going to use this or not but it is cute.

Cleaning Schedule / To Do List Rainbow Laminated Insert for Erin Condren  - I no longer have cleaning binders like +Genevieve and +Hunter. This will be fantastic for me!

Stickers of all kinds of course.

Different stamps.

SOHO Splatter Effect Weekender Bag - Yes with the exception of shopping I want my planner to have it's own bag for the most part. I am still trying to find a good place to keep it in my purse. 

Weekly Pregnancy Stickers  - These are the stickers Jessica found for pregnancy! These are so cute and everything.

Wedding Planner Calendar Stickers - Again perfect for the wedding plans everything.

I bought the white and gold with the gold plated coil and extra month calendar. I bought two other covers, pen holder, extra stickers and extra elastic bands.

That is pretty much it for the EC LP with me. I will do post when I get it as well. I am so excited. Let me know if you got a planner or thinking of purchasing one for yourself.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Fresh Start Challenge Day 25: Letters


I love reading over your journals. I now have them everywhere I go since I have scan them and they now on my iBooks. I only wish I had gotten to know you in real life. My heart twists knowing that you died giving me life. Your excited about getting married floored me because it was like reading my own thoughts. I love reading your pregnancy journal. Seeing the other names you came up with for me makes me laugh. You were so excited about being pregnant and being a mom.


We have not always agreed on everything but what parent and child does? I have respected you and you have respected me where most parents do not. You realized that I was strong and smart enough to handle myself. You instilled love, faith, hope and kindness in me. You gave me the foundation of a Godly life and I thank you so much.

We won't agree on everything in coming years and even things now. Just remember that I love you. Thank you for giving me away to the most amazing man and giving me the tiny blessing that stole my heart as well. You are an amazing man yourself. I am truly blessed at the positive impact you had on my life. So many girls complain or cannot say that about their daddy. You on the other hand make me proud to say I am daddy's little girl.

My Girls:

+Maria , +Mary Ann , +Hunter, +Jessica, +Lillian, Hannah Lombardi, and +Carolina; All of you have inspired me in each your own ways. I feel like I can conquer the world with the support and resources you each give me. The impact each of you have made on my life makes feel like I am the woman God wants me to be as I sit here writing this. I feel as though the inspiration you all give makes sense now at where I am in my life.


You started out in my life as my final sibling. I held you a lot when you were first born because your biological mother suffered from postpartum depression so bad she didn't even want to look at you. From the beginning she thought of giving you up for adoption. And now I gladly hold you in my arms at night. I fall in love with your smile, your giggle, you whimpers, and your voice every day. You made me a mommy. My heart clenches when you are in danger or are sick. Seeing you look at me admiringly and then look at Chris like that makes me realize why all the hard spots in my life were placed where they were because I cherish those moments.


My other half. The only person to really see me at my worst and my best and totally fall in love with both. The person that calls to me spiritually, physically, emotionally  and soulfully. I never realized that not only would you become so important but also that you would become my best friend. I hold nothing back from you. You impacted every single faucet of my life. You build me up. You test and tempted me. You challenge me. You nurture me. You care for me. Protect me. But most of all you love me. I am always proud to say that I have never thought of leaving you and you tell me all the time there has never been a second that you have thought about leaving. How many couple doubt their relationships? I am not saying that's a bad thing because for many it's a way to show how strong their relationship is in most situation. Sometimes the pity factor gets in or the old "we've been through so much."

We have gave it our all since the very first date. I will always look back on those days and cherish the innocence they held. They showed us in our growing and learning stages of innocence. We will always been in a stage of growing and learning of something. Whether it be career, marriage, or parenting we are going to be learning and growing together. I love you so much and I thank you and the good Lord above for both loving me. 

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Fresh Start Challenge Day 24: Holy Lands

A little over a year ago I had the privilege to go to Israel.

Chris and I traveled through the Holy Lands with our eyes wide and heart open.

There are two things that stand out to me as the most spiritual moments in my life.

First one:

We were baptized in the River Jordan. I cried as I lifted back up out of the water. I was baptized in almost the same place as Jesus himself was and my body was trembling even though it was very hot outside. I watched Chris get baptized as well. We both stood praying to the side of our group we were with for the trip. I felt so cleansed and renewed.

Second time:

We went to see The Church of Holy Sepulchre. When we went it was not very busy at all which we learned was very rare. The Church of the Holy Sepulchre contains the Tomb of Christ and also Golgotha, the place of the crucifixion. Chris and I walked around and finally got in line. The line let to a table and we could see people crawling under the table. I know I gasped when I realized what they were doing and what we were about to do. This was where the cross once stood. The cross was erected between two rocks where the blood of Jesus fell on. We were about to have an opportunity to touch the rock where Jesus was crucified. Underneath the altar, there is a hole through which we put our arm through to touch the rock. By doing this, we touched the rock where Jesus died.

I was crying and I felt Chris's body shaking with tears. We prayed together as well there. It was an experience I never will forget.

Monday, June 2, 2014



1: What are you wearing? 

2: Ever been in love? 


3: Ever had a terrible breakup? 

No. It was over and done with quite quickly.

4: How tall are you? 

5' 6"

5: How much do you weigh? 


6: Any tattoos? 


7: Any piercings? 


8: OTP? 

Penny and Seaweed or Snape & Lilly or Harry & Hermione or Euguene & Rapunzel or Alice & Mad Hatter

9: Favourite show? 

Duck Dynasty, Downton Abby, Golden Girls, Friends, Once Upon A Time, and Designing Women

10: Favourite bands? 

Westlife, Glen Miller, A7X, Take That, Beatles, NSYNC, One Direction, The Cleftones, The Jaguars and Fun.

11: Something you miss? 


12: Favourite song?

Right now it's Always in My Head by Coldplay

13: How old are you? 

25 years old

14: Zodiac sign? 


15: Quality you look for in a partner? 

To be a real man and really challenge himself

16: Favourite Quote? 

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
― Max Lucado

17: Favourite actor? 

Johnny Depp

18: Favourite color? 

Mint or red

19: Loud music or soft? 

Mostly soft

20: Where do you go when you're sad? 

I just drive. I usually end up at my dad's or at my garden house near Fort Payne or Tuscaloosa

21: How long does it take you to shower? 

Depends on if I'm washing my hair or not. Usually 20 if washing my hair. 5 if not.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

An hour and half.

23: Ever been in a physical fight? 

Several times

24: Turn on?

Strong arms, Smirking, raw emotions, working out, and smart

25: Turn off? 

A wuss, stupid, and laziness 

26: The reason I started my blog?

I wanted to. 

27: Fears? 

Something happening to Chris or Jackjack or my friends

28: Last thing that made you cry? 

Making love

29: Last time you said you loved someone? 

This morning

30: Meaning behind your blog name? 

Basically my blog decodes me and shows who I really am.

31: Last book you read? 

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner

32: The book you're currently reading?

Mystery Man by Kristen Ashely

33: Last show you watched? 

Orange is the New Black

34: Last person you talked to? 


35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? 

He is my dad

36: Favourite food? 


37: Place you want to visit?


38: Last place you were? 

We are in Disney World, we were in Winter Park yesterday

39: Do you have a crush?

On my husband? Yes

40: Last time you kissed someone? 

Two seconds ago

41: Last time you were insulted? 


42: Favourite flavour of sweet? 


43: What instruments do you play?

Piano and harp

44: Favourite piece of jewellery?

My engagement ring and wedding band and now my Unbreakable vow bracelet

45: Last sport you played?


46: Last song you sang? 

Grim Grinning Ghosts

47: Favourite chat up line?

I can show you a real charm with that wand.

48: Have you ever used it?


49: Last time you hung out with anyone? 

Last night

50: Who should answer these questions next?


Naughty Haul

Fairvilla in Orlando

Chocolate thong (his)

Platinum Silicone The Big End

Dual Clit Flicker - Pink

Universal Enema Attachment 3 Piece Set

White Nights 7” Ribbed Vibrator

Lube Shooter Red

Anal Spray Women Adventure

Fashionistas glass rose small butt plug - black

Blush Naughty Candy Heart Spank Me Plug Yellow

50 Shades Of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream

Fifty Shades of Grey Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle

Fetish Fantasy Series Alligator Nipple Clamps

Fetish Fantasy Series Butterfly Nipple Clamps

Nick Hawk Gigolo Kegel Balls

Large Inflatable Dildo Enema Nozzle

Fifty Shades of Grey Hard Limits Bed Restraint Kit

OhmiBod Online

Lovelife Flex Kegel Weights

Lovelife Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator

Sliquid Flavored Lubricants Green Apple

Ohmibod FreeStyle G Wireless Music Vibrator

Sunday, June 1, 2014

Beneath Your Beautiful

I have waited 25 years for what happened this past week. Okay I was not exactly looking forward to it since I was born. So technically I had wondered about it since I was thirteen years old, so that puts me at waiting 12 years. I have to hand it to myself I was good. Regardless, of what anyone says I wore that purity ring with pride and the knowledge that I had done God's will.

My journey started Thursday. Chris told me that he wanted me to comfortable on my birthday. He undressed me and gently gave me a series of enemas while massaging me and kissing me. Now enemas don't really end in on a romantic note and my husband planned for that. When I was finally finished with the enemas he had prepared a deliciously amazing bath. The water almost felt like jello (I need to ask him what he put in the water.) There was candles and flowers.

He made sure I ate that night and fed me chicken. It was delicious. I believe it was chicken cordon bleu. He dried me off and gave some some Dream Water and sent me to bed. I was out of it between the enemas and the Dream Water.

I woke up feeling like I was a new person and about 20 pounds lighter. He was watching me. I automatically started blushing because I haven't gotten used to him seeing me naked. He pulled me into the shower where we showered each other. I love soaping up his hair and the fact that he has to get on his knees so I can even do that. I always giggle.

He carried me out of the shower and then promptly dried me off and dried my hair. He even rolled my hair. I felt like Queen Victoria as I put on my make-up. He wouldn't let me put on a lot. We went for a light breakfast. I love having a birthday at Disney World. As long as you wear your pin everyone wishes you a Happy Birthday. It makes you feel like you are worth a million bucks. But I have the most gorgeous man on the planet guiding me around which made me feel like a gazillion dollars.

We made our way back to the room which I thought was odd. He turned on music and we started dancing in the living room. It felt so good to be in his arms. He finally stopped when, "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth came on. Now we have a danced choreographed to this song for our wedding ceremony and reception in October and we usually do it in our underwear. Chris, however, leaned down and asked if it was okay if he undressed me. I started trembling but I let him undress me.

As he was running his finger tips down my skin, creating goosebumps in the wake of his touch, he told me to undress him as well. I searched his eyes as I was undressing feeling my cold clammy fingers touching his hot and slightly sweaty skin of his chest. Here we were in the middle of the garden cottage suite at Disney's Boardwalk standing stark naked in broad daylight. He started dancing with me. I was amazed at how aroused I was becoming because we were dancing so more intimately than we normally do. I felt that it wasn't just me feeling the new chemistry between us as the song was now on repeat.

I was finally seeing Chris beneath his beautiful. The raw and completely stripped of clothes, ego, money and pride. I had finally climbed his wall and I was so amazed. He was more than beautiful, handsome or gorgeous. There is not word to describe him when he stripped of all of that. I started caressing his cheek and he melted into the touch and started caressing my body. I felt the moan that had been bubbling from my blood and arousal finally surface out of my mouth. He looked into my eyes as he kissed me and whispered "Can we make love?" I started to tear up as I nodded. He too started to cry as he carried me up the stairs and laid me down on the bed.

He gently bent my knees and spread my legs and for once I was blushing because I felt truly beautiful for the first time in my life. It was almost the most exposed I had ever been in my life. My love for him washed over all insecurities because I could see in his eyes that he loved me too. My only concern at that point was that he was starting to shake and it was very noticeable.

He was going to put lubrication on me and stopped him and told him that I wanted it to be just us the first the time. He smiled down at me. I had always assumed my first time would be at night surrounded in candles. I am so grateful and blissfully content with the fact that we had sunlight streaming in on us. I knew that he was looking at my body and seeing me. Not dark where he could imagine someone else.

He started crying harder and started kissing me all over my body. It felt so emotional and raw because beside each kiss and gently suckle there would be drips of tears. I was dying for him to be in my arms so I could sooth him but I was also knew that the need for that it wouldn't be fulfilled for a while. He was about to enter me when he stopped and turned around and literally started shaking and sobbing.

I was really concerned as I crawled off the bed and knelt down in the floor and position myself at his feet looking up at my beautiful and pained husband. I reached up to caress his face and he sobbed into it. My heart exploded "You deserve someone better. You deserve a saint." I was about to get slightly angry and then he exploded my world. "Odette I've never made love, I've only fucked. You know like Christian Grey." I know I gasped when he said fuck.

I just started kissing him passionately. I kissed him with all the want that had built up inside me. I touched his chest and then slide my arms around his neck as I straddled him without letting him inside me. I started softly singing to him "For Longer Than Forever." And he joined in on the duet. He gentle touched me and I mirrored his touches as we sang. The rawness brought reality that we were basically restating our marriage vows on the bed that we were about to consummate our vows on. And I sang the last line I looked up at him while wiping his tears and shifted my pelvic and stated that I loved him and pressed down on him.

My body convulsed with pleasure and pain. He gently rocked his hips and I slowly and cautiosly matched his movement and I felt my innocence ripped and with a hiss and almost painful kiss I became one with Christopher Allen Ryan Raposo. The one that God saw in my future all along.

We made love for the next two hours and after we prayed we took a long hot bath.

I was addicted to him in that instance. My life will never be the same again.