TMI Tag

Questions:

1: What are you wearing? 

"I Can't Catch Lightning" T-Shirt

Comic Zoom Leggings

Standout Mickey High-Tops

2: Ever been in love? 

Yes

3: Ever had a terrible breakup? 

No. It was over and done with quite quickly.

4: How tall are you? 

5' 6"

5: How much do you weigh? 

128lbs

6: Any tattoos? 

Five

7: Any piercings? 

4

8: OTP? 

Penny and Seaweed or Snape & Lilly or Harry & Hermione or Euguene & Rapunzel or Alice & Mad Hatter

9: Favourite show? 

Duck Dynasty, Downton Abby, Golden Girls, Friends, Once Upon A Time, and Designing Women

10: Favourite bands? 

Westlife, Glen Miller, A7X, Take That, Beatles, NSYNC, One Direction, The Cleftones, The Jaguars and Fun.

11: Something you miss? 

Europe

12: Favourite song?

Right now it's Always in My Head by Coldplay

13: How old are you? 

25 years old

14: Zodiac sign? 

Gemini

15: Quality you look for in a partner? 

To be a real man and really challenge himself

16: Favourite Quote? 

“A woman's heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
― Max Lucado

17: Favourite actor? 

Johnny Depp

18: Favourite color? 

Mint or red

19: Loud music or soft? 

Mostly soft

20: Where do you go when you're sad? 

I just drive. I usually end up at my dad's or at my garden house near Fort Payne or Tuscaloosa

21: How long does it take you to shower? 

Depends on if I'm washing my hair or not. Usually 20 if washing my hair. 5 if not.

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 

An hour and half.

23: Ever been in a physical fight? 

Several times

24: Turn on?

Strong arms, Smirking, raw emotions, working out, and smart

25: Turn off? 

A wuss, stupid, and laziness 

26: The reason I started my blog?

I wanted to. 

27: Fears? 

Something happening to Chris or Jackjack or my friends

28: Last thing that made you cry? 

Making love

29: Last time you said you loved someone? 

This morning

30: Meaning behind your blog name? 

Basically my blog decodes me and shows who I really am.

31: Last book you read? 

Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner

32: The book you're currently reading?

Mystery Man by Kristen Ashely

33: Last show you watched? 

Orange is the New Black

34: Last person you talked to? 

Hunter

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? 

He is my dad

36: Favourite food? 

Milkshakes

37: Place you want to visit?

Caribbean 

38: Last place you were? 

We are in Disney World, we were in Winter Park yesterday

39: Do you have a crush?

On my husband? Yes

40: Last time you kissed someone? 

Two seconds ago

41: Last time you were insulted? 

Yesterday

42: Favourite flavour of sweet? 

Hazelnut

43: What instruments do you play?

Piano and harp

44: Favourite piece of jewellery?

My engagement ring and wedding band and now my Unbreakable vow bracelet

45: Last sport you played?

Tennis

46: Last song you sang? 

Grim Grinning Ghosts

47: Favourite chat up line?

I can show you a real charm with that wand.

48: Have you ever used it?

Yes

49: Last time you hung out with anyone? 

Last night

50: Who should answer these questions next?

Erica

Beneath Your Beautiful

I have waited 25 years for what happened this past week. Okay I was not exactly looking forward to it since I was born. So technically I had wondered about it since I was thirteen years old, so that puts me at waiting 12 years. I have to hand it to myself I was good. Regardless, of what anyone says I wore that purity ring with pride and the knowledge that I had done God's will.

My journey started Thursday. Chris told me that he wanted me to comfortable on my birthday. He undressed me and gently gave me a series of enemas while massaging me and kissing me. Now enemas don't really end in on a romantic note and my husband planned for that. When I was finally finished with the enemas he had prepared a deliciously amazing bath. The water almost felt like jello (I need to ask him what he put in the water.) There was candles and flowers.

He made sure I ate that night and fed me chicken. It was delicious. I believe it was chicken cordon bleu. He dried me off and gave some some Dream Water and sent me to bed. I was out of it between the enemas and the Dream Water.

I woke up feeling like I was a new person and about 20 pounds lighter. He was watching me. I automatically started blushing because I haven't gotten used to him seeing me naked. He pulled me into the shower where we showered each other. I love soaping up his hair and the fact that he has to get on his knees so I can even do that. I always giggle.

He carried me out of the shower and then promptly dried me off and dried my hair. He even rolled my hair. I felt like Queen Victoria as I put on my make-up. He wouldn't let me put on a lot. We went for a light breakfast. I love having a birthday at Disney World. As long as you wear your pin everyone wishes you a Happy Birthday. It makes you feel like you are worth a million bucks. But I have the most gorgeous man on the planet guiding me around which made me feel like a gazillion dollars.

We made our way back to the room which I thought was odd. He turned on music and we started dancing in the living room. It felt so good to be in his arms. He finally stopped when, "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth came on. Now we have a danced choreographed to this song for our wedding ceremony and reception in October and we usually do it in our underwear. Chris, however, leaned down and asked if it was okay if he undressed me. I started trembling but I let him undress me.

As he was running his finger tips down my skin, creating goosebumps in the wake of his touch, he told me to undress him as well. I searched his eyes as I was undressing feeling my cold clammy fingers touching his hot and slightly sweaty skin of his chest. Here we were in the middle of the garden cottage suite at Disney's Boardwalk standing stark naked in broad daylight. He started dancing with me. I was amazed at how aroused I was becoming because we were dancing so more intimately than we normally do. I felt that it wasn't just me feeling the new chemistry between us as the song was now on repeat.

I was finally seeing Chris beneath his beautiful. The raw and completely stripped of clothes, ego, money and pride. I had finally climbed his wall and I was so amazed. He was more than beautiful, handsome or gorgeous. There is not word to describe him when he stripped of all of that. I started caressing his cheek and he melted into the touch and started caressing my body. I felt the moan that had been bubbling from my blood and arousal finally surface out of my mouth. He looked into my eyes as he kissed me and whispered "Can we make love?" I started to tear up as I nodded. He too started to cry as he carried me up the stairs and laid me down on the bed.

He gently bent my knees and spread my legs and for once I was blushing because I felt truly beautiful for the first time in my life. It was almost the most exposed I had ever been in my life. My love for him washed over all insecurities because I could see in his eyes that he loved me too. My only concern at that point was that he was starting to shake and it was very noticeable.

He was going to put lubrication on me and stopped him and told him that I wanted it to be just us the first the time. He smiled down at me. I had always assumed my first time would be at night surrounded in candles. I am so grateful and blissfully content with the fact that we had sunlight streaming in on us. I knew that he was looking at my body and seeing me. Not dark where he could imagine someone else.

He started crying harder and started kissing me all over my body. It felt so emotional and raw because beside each kiss and gently suckle there would be drips of tears. I was dying for him to be in my arms so I could sooth him but I was also knew that the need for that it wouldn't be fulfilled for a while. He was about to enter me when he stopped and turned around and literally started shaking and sobbing.

I was really concerned as I crawled off the bed and knelt down in the floor and position myself at his feet looking up at my beautiful and pained husband. I reached up to caress his face and he sobbed into it. My heart exploded "You deserve someone better. You deserve a saint." I was about to get slightly angry and then he exploded my world. "Odette I've never made love, I've only fucked. You know like Christian Grey." I know I gasped when he said fuck.

I just started kissing him passionately. I kissed him with all the want that had built up inside me. I touched his chest and then slide my arms around his neck as I straddled him without letting him inside me. I started softly singing to him "For Longer Than Forever." And he joined in on the duet. He gentle touched me and I mirrored his touches as we sang. The rawness brought reality that we were basically restating our marriage vows on the bed that we were about to consummate our vows on. And I sang the last line I looked up at him while wiping his tears and shifted my pelvic and stated that I loved him and pressed down on him.

My body convulsed with pleasure and pain. He gently rocked his hips and I slowly and cautiosly matched his movement and I felt my innocence ripped and with a hiss and almost painful kiss I became one with Christopher Allen Ryan Raposo. The one that God saw in my future all along.

We made love for the next two hours and after we prayed we took a long hot bath.

I was addicted to him in that instance. My life will never be the same again.

Together We Are Kicking the Bucket

AND JUST TAKING OVER THE WORLD!

Chris and I are known for our bucket list but we have forever now and that isn't long enough for us.

Today has been amazing for us. It felt amazing being his wife because I still blush at the sight of him in a tank top or even shirtless. Yes, yes it's been two years of dating and countless trips and nights where I have seen him shirtless. But he is ripped and the world knows it there for I will continue to blush. Anyhow we are going take over the world one goal at a time together. And this is just Part 1. As we grow and complete this list I am sure Part 2 will surface.

1. Be the couple everyone is jealous of. For the record Chris says this is ongoing goal.
2. An hour of naked time together a day.
3. Write a book about God and dating together and have it published.
4. Play naked Twister. 
5. Do a couple's journal.
6. Gondola ride. Seriously how many times have we been in Italy together and not done this?
7. Help pursue each other's dreams. Technically we have and will continue to do this as our dreams change and evolve over time.
8. Food Passport! We will write down 50 local places we've never been and then visit one per week for the year as a date.
9. Make out with pop rocks in our mouths.
10. Run the Grand Canyon in a day together.
11. Carve our names into a tree.
12. Bury each other in the sand.
13. Beat him at a thumb war.
14. Spend the afternoon having Mario Kart Tournament.
15. Candle lit bath
16. Disney dates
17. Let go of 100 balloons filled each filled with a Bible verse inside.
18. Go on mission trips together
19. Give Odette rainbow roses.
20. Stomp on grapes and make our own wine.
21. Knock him down unexpectedly down in the front yard and tickle him.
22. Get revenge on her for the above goal.
23. More PDA.
24. Stand on the equator together.
25. Be on all 7 continents together.
26. Play baseball together.
27. Make love on six different continents. 
28. Do a fitness challenge together
29. Go on a dark date. (This has always been an interesting idea to me.)
30. Make our own sex tape. Yes we went there
31. French kiss at the top of the Eiffel tower.
32. Stroll through New York while it's snowing
33. Go on a flea market date.
34. Sing Karaoke together and publicly (not at church)
35. Dress up as Derek and Odette and go around town.
36. Eat spaghetti without utensils.
37. Play Cranium together while eating candy
38. Ride the tallest roller coaster.
39. Ride the tallest drop ride
40. Christmas movie marathon on July 25
41. Try hot yoga
42. Play Super Nintendo all day
43. Read all day together.
44. Going roller skating.
45. Take a week long road trip.
46. Shave each other.
47. Dance on his feet in the kitchen. 
48. Build a fort out of boxes and blankets.
49. Buy land in Washington State.
50. Have a Happy 50th Wedding anniversary... See you soon 2064! 
51. Visit all 50 States together. 
52. Be caught on the kiss cam
53. Go skinny dipping
54. Build a huge fort out of legos
55. Matching pajamas!!!
56. Dance down the road
57. Scream from a mountain top how much we love each other.
58. Go cliff diving together.
59. Spend a week on a houseboat.
60. Go sailing
61. Kiss while skydiving
62. Get matching underwear.
63. Pick out each other's clothes for a week.
64. Watch 26 movies in 26 days, each starting with a letter from the
65. Build a cottage the New England coast.
66. Going skiing together.
67. Do the Husband does my make-up Challenge
68. Do the vice versa from above.
69. Play in a sandbox together.
70. Join the mile high club.
71. Play naked hide and go seek in the dark.
72. Learn to spin plates together.
73. Spider swing on many playgrounds and parks.
74. Paint or draw each other naked.
75. Renew our vows at Disney World for our 20th anniversary.
76. Either learn a new language together or strengthen our other languages together.
77. Have a year where each month is themed "Titanic" "Egypt" "Dr. Seuss" 
78. Try and break a Guinness record together.
79. Visit all the Wonders of the World.
80. Go to the Olympics together
81. Go back to the place where we had our first kiss and make out.
82. Craft things together for the house or for gifts.
83. Go on a couples retreat with church.
84. Attend a retirement seminar and plan accordingly.
85. Once every six months read a book separately then discuss it over coffee.
86. Do things backwards... Wake up at night and start the day there by going to IHOP.
87. Go to a war memorial together.
88. Trace our families to see our family come together.
89. Take photography classes together so we always have awesome family photos.
90. Take a helicopter ride together over volcanoes. 
91. Play bossaball.
92. Go to La Tomatina
93. Ride a cable car.
94. Prepare our wills.
95. Create a family crest and use it.
96. Go shopping on Rodeo Drive.
97. Pray together every morning before we get out of bed.
98. Give Jackjack 8 siblings.
99. Create a family take over list.
100. Grow old together but stay young.

Always

When I first started blogging I wrote a post about my future engagement. It's interesting to know that almost two years ago I didn't want Chris to propose to me. I was content with him just loving and I believe that's how it should be.

Finding love at a Jimmy John's will and always be crazy to me. Yes I had met Chris before but alone and speaking to him not out of being polite was life changing. What if I had decided to eat at Subway or Quiznos? What if he hadn't been upset about his just ended relationship ended with his ex being pregnant by his brother? What if I had went to a different Jimmy John's location? What if I had been determined to return to Jeremy? What if I had turned Chris down from shyness? But the fact remains God put us there and it wasn't by some crazy meet up website or dating website. This was God's plan all along.

We were strangers, starting out on a journey

Never dreaming, what we'd have to go through

Now here we are, I'm suddenly standing

At the beginning with you

We started out on a courting relationship. It was beautiful we had the best times. Even on May 24, 2012 when he gave me my first kiss of my life from a guy I knew Chris was special. We let God lead the way but you all know our story if you have been reading my blog for the past two years. We were completely crazy about each other but we kept the Lord at the center. We prayed together all the time, and nothing has changed at all. I mean how many times does a guy take a girl clear across the world to see a group that she loves last concert before they disband? How many guys find the grandparents she hasn't seen since she was 4 years old?

No one told me I was going to find you

Unexpected, what you did to my heart

When I lost hope, you were there to remind me

This is the start

Then Chris moved to Huntsville himself to live closer to me. Then Jackjack came into the picture and we settled into a relationship of quick kisses, diapers, playing, and taking Jackjack to one house one night and the other house the next night. Jackjack is my half baby brother in reality. My stepmom died and my dad was in no condition to take care of him. So we became parents and took those ropes easily. A small little family.

You're the answer when I prayed

I would find someone

And baby I found you

Then December came for us... We were at Chris's brother's wedding at Disney and Chris says he would like to make an announcement in the middle of our solo dance. I was figuring it was a speech to the couple like normal people do at weddings. Key word: normal, and Chris just isn't that. He told everyone he wanted to tell me something specifically. He proposed right then and there in front of all of Erica's wedding guests (so much for a small quiet engagement right?) The moment he slide my great grandmother's ring on my finger I just cried and cried. We danced and danced that night. I think I could have danced forever that night.

All I want is to hold you forever

All I need is you more every day

You saved my heart

From being broken apart

You gave your love away

I can't find the words to say

That I'm thankful everyday

For the gift

Dancing... This word means the world to Chris and myself. We love to dance. I have come to the conclusion I will never have thin thighs because I have muscle things between regular dancing and pole dancing. But Chris says they are amazing. Dancing to us is the movement of love. We have the sexy wild dancing for releasing energy and anxiety. Our slow dancing can either help us when we are sad or when we are in a romantic mood.

Our lives continued as an engaged couple into the year 2013. We discovered Jackjack's cancer had returned. Being back at St. Jude's was difficult because I wasn't going through those doors as his sister but his mommy. But like his Daddy Chrissy he showed cancer who was boss and my little man is strong as his daddy.

Chris and I did have the wonderful amazing opportunity to travel to Israel together. If there is anything that makes you feel like you are a couple meant to be it's when you touch the bottom of where the cross was together. I felt like this strong force was holding me there and the urge to grab Chris's hand took over me and what's amazing? He was already holding his hand out. We prayed there together.

There's a laugh in my eyes 

There's a waltz in my walk 

And it's been such a long time 

Since there was hope in my talk 

If you never knew 

What it is that's new.. it's you

And now,

We are married. Our big wedding hasn't happened and Lord no I am not pregnant. Chris decided that after someone told him that girls were still thinking they could move in on him that he wanted to show the world who had his heart. He scared the daylights out of me before he told me he was getting us married at midnight. Our wedding date is May 14, 2014. It's a beautiful day. We got married on the same ground and same spot as our first date two years ago.

'Cause when your hands are in mine 

You set a fire that everyone can see 

And it's burning away 

Every bad memory 

To tell you the truth 

If it's something new.. baby it's you

My grandmother from Paris laced up my dress. Lisa (Chris's stepmom ) placed my diamond necklace on me. Mary Ann did my make-up and Hunter did my hair. My daddy being the weirdo that he is insisted  that he was going to put on my garter. And my grandpaw helped me slide on my shoes. My veil was fastened on by Mrs. Greene who helped Chris's mom raise him because she was his neighbor. My daddy drove me and my grandparents.

The world's a different place 

Where nothing's too hard to say 

And nothing's to hard to do 

Never too much to go through 

To tell you the truth 

Everything that's new.. baby it's you

My bouquet was the most gorgeous bunch of white and red lilies. And I felt so gorgeous when I stepped out of that car and my daddy slide my arm through his and told me that he was so proud of me and that my mom would have been proud of me too. He had not spoke of my mother without me bringing it up since I was eight years old so I instantly was ready to cry anyhow and then we walked further and everything came alive at once. Candles where hanging in the sky and in the trees.

So if I get to grow old (oh if I get to grow old) 

With many years behind me (many years behind me) 

There's only one thing I want (aahh) 

One thing I need beside me 

For all that you are 

For everything you do 

For all that you've done 

Just for showing me the truth 

It's you 

It's you 

Baby it's you

Dani was my bridesmaid, Chris's littlest sister. All four of my older brothers where beside Chris and each one of them their lapels were sporting a different Hogwarts house color. I started crying when Jackjack walked in front of me and went running to Chris, who scooped him up and handed him over to my brother Jared.

When it was my turn to walk towards Chris the music that bellowed from the speakers was that of Patrick Doyle's Magic Works. I started crying thinking about the date two years ago dancing in my living room (before we started taking lessons). I felt my daddy start to tremble as he walked me to Chris and when Daddy lifted my veil I kissed him and thanked him for raising me and my poor daddy lost it. He started crying so hard. "My only baby girl." And when Wayne, our minister, asked who was giving me away. My daddy barely whispered, "Her mother and I do." I was bawling. 

We both slid off our True Love Waits rings and placed them a long white candle as Christina Perri's A Thousand Years started playing which was the first song we danced to in the same spot two years ago. This is to burn the night we make love for the first time. Even though Chris isn't a true virgin he is a secondary virgin. We both had soil from our childhood yards and we planted a small bush together. We tied a knot in a rope.

We both had wrote our own vows ages ago and sadly being the perfectionists we are we both had our memorized or well enough to not look at the notes we were able to look if we wanted to do so. We both said poems and Bible verses. Wayne added many Bible verses that we didn't say. Wayne said the traditional "Do you Odette Belle Diana Molyneux take this man Christopher Allen Ryan Raposo to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and health, to love, honor and obey, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto him for as long as you both shall live?" I didn't hesitate at all.

"Always."

Chris's eyes grew big and then the humor shown in them. Wayne himself had humorous tone to him as he continued to Chris. 

"Do you Christopher Allen Ryan Raposo take this woman Odette Belle Diana Molyneux to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, in sickness and in heath, in good times and woe, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself solely unto her for as long as you both shall live?"

"Always."

"If there be anyone present who may show just and lawful cause why this couple may not be legally wed, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

We exchanged rings saying, " With this ring, I give you my heart, I promise from this day forward, you shall not walk alone, may my heart be your shelter, and my arms be your home."

Then Wayne and Chris exchanged a look.

The next thing that happened shocked me to the very inside of me.

Wayne took out a wand and told Chris to take my right hand. We held hands while looking into each other's eyes. He tapped the wand on our joined hands.

"To Odette, these are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and vibrant

with love, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as he promises

to love you all the days of his life.

These are the hands that will work along side yours, as together you

build your future, as you laugh and cry, as you share your innermost

secrets and dreams.

These are the hands you will place with expectant joy against your

stomach, until he too, feels his child stir within you.

These are the hands that look so large and strong, yet will be so

gentle as he holds your baby for the first time.

These are the hands that will work long hours for you and your new family 

These are that hands that will passionately love you and cherish you

through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your

eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy

These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you

when fear or grief wrack your mind.

These are the hands that will tenderly lift your chin and brush your

cheek as they raise your face to look into his eyes: eyes that are

filled completely with his overwhelming love and desire for you."

"And to Chris these are the hands of your

best friend, smooth, young and carefree, that are holding yours on

your wedding day, as she pledges her love and commitment to you all

the days of her life.

These are the hands that will hold each child in tender love, soothing

them through illness and hurt, supporting and encouraging them along

the way, and knowing when it is time to let go

These are the hands that will massage tension from you neck and back

in the evenings after you've both had a long hard day.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through

difficult times

These are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick, or

console you when you are grieving.

They are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you

through the years, for a lifetime of happiness.

These are the hands that will hold you in joy and excitement and hope,

each time she tells you that you are to have another child, that

together you have created a new life.

These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you

to chase down your dreams. Together as a team, everything you wish for

can be realized."

"Will you both hold cherish the hands that are holding during the storms of stress and the dark of disillusionment and be sure that God blesses these hands Keep them tender and gentle as they nurture each other in their wondrous love. Saying Always is making the unbreakable vow."

We both said in an unison, "Always." And gold sparks went up behind Wayne. 

"You may kiss your bride and update your Facebook."

Chris dipped me backwards as Westlife's version of "Ain't that Kick in the Head" started playing. 

So Snape married his Lily with an Unbreakable Vow. Now maybe some of you will understand why Chris was so upset the other night. 

Now we are still having our big wedding celebration in October. So there will be another wedding day post! 

Fresh Start Challenge Day 16: It's In Print

I am in Paris writing this and I am already crying with just the first few words. I can finally write this. Our wedding is this year. It is in black and white, well actually in crimson, black, and gold. I, Odette Molyneux, am getting married! Never in all of my life would I believe I would be so overcome with joy about walking a measly 30 feet to someone. Though, never in my life did I expect to fall in love an Italian guy over and over.

I am overwhelmed with love from him all the time. I know he doesn't stray from me and with his good looks that is truly amazing. This puny girl who lived a life of geeky nerdiness and Harry Potter has attracted one of the most blessed gorgeously blessed creatures on this planet. Sometimes I swear I could be pregnant off of his smile and laugh.

All of these crazy amazing feelings will never go away even after I walk down that aisle because he won't let them go away. He will spend the rest of his life trying to surprise me and that makes me smile more than any flowers or stuffed animal ever could. Because at the end of it it's not the gift but the amount of time he spent thinking about me. He could say he thought about me all day but having the surprises lets me know he really means it.

The best thing is seeing the date and our names in print on 400 invitations.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 12: No More Miss Nice Girl

Seriously where the heck was this picture 2 years ago? That was my biggest pet peeve. Maybe I am a snob when it comes to a man and his car. Either make it TRUE vintage or make it big and fast.

So yes, I am discussing a few things with my ex in this post today. I have written about him before on blog. I want to change my tune this time.

I would thank you for Chris but I had met Chris long before you. So no thanks to you really, the only thing I want to say is that you pissed me off to the point I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to date a real man. So I guess in a way I get to thank you for the large diamond on my finger.

I also get to thank you for introducing me to my friends that I can say something about you and they add on to it with facts instead of friends who just nod. These are the girls that have contemplated going Carrie Underwood on your POS car. We all smile because seriously the men we found after you have all been the best thing in our lives. We could blind you with the shine coming from us and on our hands.

Thank you also for pushing me to see my real potential. My social self esteem shot higher than ever before in my life. I found my personality right after you. It makes me feel good to realize that I am not a shy quiet nerd, but instead a bold, sultry vixen.

I realized in my life I will come across obstacles but I pray to God that I never act like your or other whiny people in my life. I seen the potential my life has to be amazing and whining and being selfish is not going to get me to that goal!

And to your mother:

Thanks for lying to my future MIL, ya know the one that is going to be an awesome mother law and not a nosy bitch? Yeah her. She knew damn well you were the one that said Chris and I wouldn't last until our wedding. Oh honey you and your son should learn by now I take any negativity said about me and make it a challenge. And with Chris? I plan to burn this challenge down. I also don't care what you think about me and Chris waiting until a couple nights later. Because you know what?!?! OVER HALF of couple today do not consummate their vows on their wedding night. Don't believe me? Well thanks to my lovely future husband I have proof. And as far as what I didn't do for you realize I just didn't want you having my address. Unlike you I like my life being pretty much private. 

Day 1: My Relationship Status

To Chris who has my heart:

I always see myself as a superwoman; the one who is able to knock down all obstacles on her way to get what she wants for her career and personal life. This was the attitude I brought with me when I threw myself into our relationship. I found the solution for each difficulty between us, to bring us closer. I drowned myself in the feeling of loving you and immersed in the fantasy that finally I found my soul mate, my friend, my love of life. Why I know you are, I can’t explain, I just had an urge to scream out loud to the world: “THIS IS HIM!” and for the first time of my life, you are the person I dare to against the world to be with.For the first time, love just comes naturally without my acknowledgement. For the first time, I don’t have to pretend to be someone else but myself to care about.

To the rest of the world:

I do need your approval of my relationship. Chris cares about my happiness, health, and emotions more than most guys car about their cars or stupid Xboxes. I make sure he doesn't explode with stress, keep him grounded down to earth, and give him the love he deserves and needs. We have been engaged a year and 3 months now. We have overcome obstacles that some people don't go through until 20 years into a marriage. I trust Chris with everything I have. Chris has never once lied to me, withheld information? Yes. But lied, never. We have God first and that's the foundation of our relationship. I will always love and cherish him.

Turn the Page

Today begins two new chapters in my life.

For the rest of my life I am no longer single (unless something happens to Chris.) Our engagement party is today. After this people will know it is legit. It exhilarates me. I have someone in my life who actually wants to spend the rest of his life with me. So yes he put a ring on it. I couldn't be any happier about that. We are starting a big chapter in our lives with this step. One where our stories will overlap. Our stories already interweave together.

Our engagement party is tonight. We were going to do it with a 50s theme but since we have had to shorten the time so we can get to Memphis we are going with elegance. My best friend is jumping up and down because I get to wear my hair all fancy. She was so excited when we changed the theme for tonight. She has dubbed my hair style for tonight as being mermaid style. Not really sure what that means but I think I will post pictures of it tonight or she will one.

I know the party will go smoothly no matter what. It's our families getting together for the first time so it's food, music, and small talk. I feel confident about tonight because well really I don't know. I guess it's just because with the other trials in my life the party tonight pales in comparison. Yes we are getting engagement presents but that doesn't matter to me. Maybe I'm wrong in saying that but I feel like I have more pressing issues and I know the party is suppose to take my mind off of those things but I'm not sure that it will.

It's after the party I'm worried about because this begins a gigantic chapter in my life. The last time I went through the doors at St. Jude's I was a patient's sister. When I go through those doors this time I'm his mom. I cannot describe how differently I feel. 1) I have grown attached to Jackjack like he was my own. 2) The last time through those doors my dad and stepmom were the ones taking responsibility for Jackjack.

Those papers that scattered my dad's hotel bed will be the papers I stare at trying to decipher them. The words that I didn't understand and didn't want to sound stupid by asking what they meant I will have to know. Realizing that those cries coming from Jackjack may not always be soothed away by a cookie or a gentle song. I feel helpless slightly. I know God has Jackjack and me in His hands but I feel so out of place already. I'm scared that other mothers will laugh and scoff at me. I know I shouldn't but it has crossed my mind several times.

I just ask that all of you keep Jackjack in your prayers. We have surgery and chemo starts.

The Day I Say I Do

I never dreamed of when I started this blog I would actually get to tell my readers that I'm engaged! Yes! You read that right! The guy that I have rambled on about throughout my blogs proposed to me.

What does being a bride to-be mean to me? Really that's not the question for me. What does being a bride to-be not mean to me? I don't want to be like Monica on Friends and make my wedding all about me. I'm sorry but a wedding is for two people not just one. I have only bought one wedding book and one wedding magazine. I plan on having a big wedding, yes, but an over the top full of frills? No. People think that I keep adding ideas to the ceremony because I want to show off. That's not true I want reminders when I'm older that one of the best days of my life really happened.

Being a bride to-be means finding new ways to surprise him. Planning new adventures for us. Reminding myself that I'm a simple girl that is caught in the middle. I'm torn between princess and sophistication. I know Chris and I agree on two things permanently about our wedding. We want it to be memorable and we don't want to be stressed out about it. What happens, well happens. We want people to remember our wedding as a night of fun and love. Not of the monogramming placements, intricate cakes, or ice sculptures. We want people to remember our dances we are already working so hard on. We want people to remember how we involved them. How we made them laugh and forget the hardness of life. We want our day to be our families and friends coming together to become one. Not his and hers anymore.

Yes we have started planning? Yes. Our engagement party is next week. We saved ourselves a headache and are only inviting immediate family and people we know will be in our wedding parties. The reason being we don't want to worry about inviting certain people and then not inviting them to the wedding. We are having it themed. We aren't doing Valentine's Day. Chris was the one to set this all up. He was going to make it a surprise party for me, but I have been having a rough couple of days and he didn't want to freak me out more. He went with the theme of Old Glamour Hollywood. That is just another reason why I love him. We both love vintage.

Speaking of vintage we are working on details to our wedding. We want a nice mix of vintage, ballroom, country and modern. In a sense that's who we are. We have made a pack not to stress over wedding details. We want things to be fun and memorable, not prim and unsatisfying. I owe a nice refreshing wedding to my family and friends because they waited the 22 years for me to find the perfect man.

We are going to begin our registries soon. I wanted to just skip those but Chris insisted I get the full wedding effect because I wouldn't be having another one. Our wedding website has also been created. We are working on the shell of it and then we are going to finish up with it and present it to our friends and family. I'm very excited about this. God has given so much to be thankful for throughout my life and he just keeps adding to my blessings list.