Monday, July 30, 2012

Stronger, Bolder, and Wiser

This is a spontaneous post again. No it is nothing like the last one where a miracle happened this is just me thinking while typing. Three months ago, I was alone and facing gigantic situations practically alone and I will admit I had lost sight on the Lord. He was still there but I had turned away. I managed to get my life back on track and back on with God.

I had to do some soul searching before hand. I had lost control and sight of what I wanted in life. I wrote down several things about what I wanted from my life that I knew could actually happen. No celebrity falling in love with me, no raising someone back from the death, and no lottery winning. What I did decide to do was use the exact opposite of those things. I wrote down what I wanted in a guy. I wrote down things I wanted to praise and bless, and I wanted to get my finances in order.

I started planning while I was still in Tuscaloosa with a busted lip (which you can barely AT ALL if any which was is a win for me.) I had been given a tin box (literally) of Twilight journals. I use the Twilight one to plan my groceries and the New Moon became my ideas. I free wrote and ignored a lot of people. I was tired of a lot of things by that point. I realized one of my problems was that I depended too much on people and their thoughts. Second problem I didn't take enough risks.

I take this everywhere; including to go running.

I left Tuscaloosa and didn't look back and still haven't. Until this exact moment I haven't given any thought to what my life would have been like if I had stayed. Why? Because I love my life more than I ever have at this moment. I'm not insanely rich but I invest and save to the point I have no debt whatsoever and my credit score is unbelievable. Plus, I enjoy things that I love.

With all of that aside I found my way back to God and begged his forgiveness. I sat down and just prayed in my new townhouse up here. I asked that He lead me to the people that would help me live for  Him. I have a job that I love and I find it rewarding. I found a man that I graciously fell in love with and he lives by God's rules. I have new friends and it really helps me to see the kind of people that fit my life.

I am still having to face things that are hard. I literally come to a hard spot in my life and I'm Googling that subject with the phrase "Bible verses" behind it. It brings ease to me because no matter what I type  I can always find something. That's comforting to me.

People can try to take credit for me changing and getting my life on track. It would ultimately up to me and God. I have become stronger, bolder, and wiser. I look forward to each day.

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