Saturday, November 3, 2012

Future Mother

It's in my future. My dad's health is not all that well at the moment. He is setting it up where when something happens to him that younger brothers have someone to take care of them. Jackjack will become mine then. I have already planned to let Jackjack get as comfortable with me as possible. 

However, watching my family and friends be pregnant makes me think about the future. Will I be with Chris or with someone else? Honestly? I want to be with Chris the rest of my life. Everytime someone mentions me having his baby I can't help but to think of the episode where Rachel is late with Emma on Friends and Ross tries to make things better....

I laugh at that every time. It sounds and looks like me and Chris. Me looking at him and going "Did he really just say that? Did he really put it out there for the whole world to know how much of a nerd he is?" Thankfully I remember my past and think about what some of my friends have and then I'm squeezing him and shouting "I HAVE SUCH A SMART MAN!!!" He really is intelligent. It makes me smile. 

He has been looking forward to being a dad since he was 16. He has dreamed of it and honestly? Bought for it. There are at least 5 onsies that have to do with baseball and Alabama in his closet. He loves babies and kids. He is really good with them too. It melts my heart when I see him brighten a child's day. Chris has a natural ability too. He does magic tricks, jokes, and is just good at listening to them. He can seem like he is very interested in what they are saying and they love that. Most other guys start looking around for help or get bored. He sits there and listens.

Chris is really excited about me getting Jackjack. I was so nervous to tell him that I told Dad that I would care for Jackjack. I blurted it out expecting him to get mad or upset. Instead he looked like Christmas had come early. It was hilarious. His Facebook status actually said, "I might just get the son I have wanted all along with the most beautiful girl God could have given me..... In a way I never imagined......" I was so touched by that status. It got me to thinking about how we met. How he was so crushed that he wasn't getting the son he wanted so desperately and God had a plan all along. 

It helps me love him more and more. He is the one calming me down because I haven't raised a kid. I have helped watch them and babysit them. Chris practically raised his little sister Dani. She even calls him dad sometimes. So I'm the major mess here because I want to be a great mom. Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to mess up no matter how prepared I am. I know but I don't want to mess up so bad that it could cause death.

I had to make sure that Chris really was ok with Jackjack being in our future. He dragged me to the garage and there was a swing set being built. I knew then that Chris was so excited. It melted my heart. God has major plans in our future of that I'm certain.

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