Friday, October 12, 2012

So Long Insecurity

I know on religious post there was suppose to be more interviews but that's going to be surprise Friday religious posts. I have them all finished and I was going to do them week by week but that would get boring I'm afraid. So I'm just going to post them randomly.

So hello to today's topic: Insecurity.

Insecurity literally affects everyone. No matter who you think is the most confident person you know, somewhere there is an insecurity that they are struggling with inside themselves. In our world it's very hard not to be overcome with insecurities about everything.

I'm not going to lie. I have insecurities of my own as well. I have, however, learned how to deal with the creepy, dark shadow that nags me telling me that I not enough. When life’s uncertainties come crawling out of the shadows there is a way to face them with the confidence that everything will turn out alright. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not talking about things that come up because of our bad decisions or willingness to do what is wrong. These things have consequences that often we cannot escape.

Insecurity WILL NOT help you.
Insecurity and humility ARE NOT the same thing.
Insecurity is birthed from unbelief. - Beth Moore
S = Safe from yourself: When we’re insecure, our mind is twisted in on itself. We’re self focused. Thus, we believe others are focusing on us. However, the more secure we are, the less time we spend thinking about our issues, our words, our actions. We are free to just be. Some argue that secure people are prideful. Beth argues, and I agree, insecurity is prideful. Just look at those who suffer from narcissism. They are the MOST insecure AND prideful people you will ever meet. (If you’ve never met someone who believes they hung the moon, count your blessings.)

E = entitled to the truth: Secure people see the truth of their actions and avoid actions and things that are not fulfill. Think about someone who is grappling with an addiction. The person is seeking freedom (likely from themselves or a situation) so they use a substance. For the moment it works. However, over time their mind becomes desensitized. They need more, use more. And here is a lovely nugget: Perfectionism is insecurity in an art form. If you are secure, you don’t have to reach outside yourself for an escape.

C = clothed with intentions: A secure person DECIDES to act and be secure. They decide to step away from a mindset that says they cannot and step toward a mindset that says they can. They suffer the same blows we all do, but they CHOOSE to stand tall and not double over. Don't just fake it. Be intentional.

U = upended by grace: Grace takes up most (if not all) of the space in a secure person. Whether in Greek or Hebrew, the word used for forgiveness is grace. People who are secure forgive with ease and don’t get offended by every slight. My own two cents about forgiveness: Forgiving someone does not mean you forget the slight. NOPE. You must remember the event, because the lesson is in the event. You forgive because it releases you from rage, anger, depression, etc. These emotions steal your joy and life.

R = rebounded by love: Children who know they are loved by their parents handle teasing better. They KNOW they are loved and precious. When we feel love, we feel secure. Love is the nemesis of ill intentions and ill words. Keep in mind, humans are fickle, which means their love can be fickle.

E = Exceptional in life: A secure person stands out in a crowd. They are the exception to the rule. “Everyone was mean to me, except . . . ” Everyone struggles with that issue, well . . . except . . .”


These are principles shown by Beth Moore. Her book, So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend to Us, goes further into discussion about insecurity. It's a great book and what is so amazing to me is there have been women that I know at some of her meeting about this book that I never dreamt would have insecurities. I even had one person get in my car while I was reading this book and pick it up and their eyes bugged out and said, "You have insecurities?" I really do. I'm human, but I combat the uneasiness with God.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you. - Philippians 4:6-9
There are sometimes other bad reasons for feeling insecure because you are doing things you shouldn't and you know you shouldn't be. That insecurity is there along with guilt for a reason. So don't think you can get over doing the wrong thing and use these things to get over guilt and insecurity with doing that. The couple that has sex before marriage and is scared they aren't enough for each other? There is a reason for the insecurity and guilt that they feel afterwards. What if I wasn't enough? Don't put yourself in that situation especially when there are other consequences with that as well. If you are feeling that and you find out you have a disease or if you get pregnant than you have almost have to live with that feeling.
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. - 1 Corinthians 10:13
That verse is there to tell you that no matter how much someone tries to seduce there is a way to escape them. It might not be what you want to do. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. Or, She would have left me if I didn't. If they really loved you it wouldn't be a big deal. Besides God will be there if they do walk out. If they walk or get mad, let them. I find it repulsive for a person in a relationship to even suggest making a person give up their innocence just for fun for them. Especially when you know they are against. Even if they say yes, tell them no and be respectful to them.
Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. - Matthew 6:25-34
Worrying and being insecure won't help you in the long run. It had wrinkles and makes you age faster. So Let Go and Let God.

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