Sunday, June 1, 2014
Beneath Your Beautiful
I have waited 25 years for what happened this past week. Okay I was not exactly looking forward to it since I was born. So technically I had wondered about it since I was thirteen years old, so that puts me at waiting 12 years. I have to hand it to myself I was good. Regardless, of what anyone says I wore that purity ring with pride and the knowledge that I had done God's will.
My journey started Thursday. Chris told me that he wanted me to comfortable on my birthday. He undressed me and gently gave me a series of enemas while massaging me and kissing me. Now enemas don't really end in on a romantic note and my husband planned for that. When I was finally finished with the enemas he had prepared a deliciously amazing bath. The water almost felt like jello (I need to ask him what he put in the water.) There was candles and flowers.
He made sure I ate that night and fed me chicken. It was delicious. I believe it was chicken cordon bleu. He dried me off and gave some some Dream Water and sent me to bed. I was out of it between the enemas and the Dream Water.
I woke up feeling like I was a new person and about 20 pounds lighter. He was watching me. I automatically started blushing because I haven't gotten used to him seeing me naked. He pulled me into the shower where we showered each other. I love soaping up his hair and the fact that he has to get on his knees so I can even do that. I always giggle.
He carried me out of the shower and then promptly dried me off and dried my hair. He even rolled my hair. I felt like Queen Victoria as I put on my make-up. He wouldn't let me put on a lot. We went for a light breakfast. I love having a birthday at Disney World. As long as you wear your pin everyone wishes you a Happy Birthday. It makes you feel like you are worth a million bucks. But I have the most gorgeous man on the planet guiding me around which made me feel like a gazillion dollars.
We made our way back to the room which I thought was odd. He turned on music and we started dancing in the living room. It felt so good to be in his arms. He finally stopped when, "Beneath Your Beautiful" by Labrinth came on. Now we have a danced choreographed to this song for our wedding ceremony and reception in October and we usually do it in our underwear. Chris, however, leaned down and asked if it was okay if he undressed me. I started trembling but I let him undress me.
As he was running his finger tips down my skin, creating goosebumps in the wake of his touch, he told me to undress him as well. I searched his eyes as I was undressing feeling my cold clammy fingers touching his hot and slightly sweaty skin of his chest. Here we were in the middle of the garden cottage suite at Disney's Boardwalk standing stark naked in broad daylight. He started dancing with me. I was amazed at how aroused I was becoming because we were dancing so more intimately than we normally do. I felt that it wasn't just me feeling the new chemistry between us as the song was now on repeat.
I was finally seeing Chris beneath his beautiful. The raw and completely stripped of clothes, ego, money and pride. I had finally climbed his wall and I was so amazed. He was more than beautiful, handsome or gorgeous. There is not word to describe him when he stripped of all of that. I started caressing his cheek and he melted into the touch and started caressing my body. I felt the moan that had been bubbling from my blood and arousal finally surface out of my mouth. He looked into my eyes as he kissed me and whispered "Can we make love?" I started to tear up as I nodded. He too started to cry as he carried me up the stairs and laid me down on the bed.
He gently bent my knees and spread my legs and for once I was blushing because I felt truly beautiful for the first time in my life. It was almost the most exposed I had ever been in my life. My love for him washed over all insecurities because I could see in his eyes that he loved me too. My only concern at that point was that he was starting to shake and it was very noticeable.
He was going to put lubrication on me and stopped him and told him that I wanted it to be just us the first the time. He smiled down at me. I had always assumed my first time would be at night surrounded in candles. I am so grateful and blissfully content with the fact that we had sunlight streaming in on us. I knew that he was looking at my body and seeing me. Not dark where he could imagine someone else.
He started crying harder and started kissing me all over my body. It felt so emotional and raw because beside each kiss and gently suckle there would be drips of tears. I was dying for him to be in my arms so I could sooth him but I was also knew that the need for that it wouldn't be fulfilled for a while. He was about to enter me when he stopped and turned around and literally started shaking and sobbing.
I was really concerned as I crawled off the bed and knelt down in the floor and position myself at his feet looking up at my beautiful and pained husband. I reached up to caress his face and he sobbed into it. My heart exploded "You deserve someone better. You deserve a saint." I was about to get slightly angry and then he exploded my world. "Odette I've never made love, I've only fucked. You know like Christian Grey." I know I gasped when he said fuck.
I just started kissing him passionately. I kissed him with all the want that had built up inside me. I touched his chest and then slide my arms around his neck as I straddled him without letting him inside me. I started softly singing to him "For Longer Than Forever." And he joined in on the duet. He gentle touched me and I mirrored his touches as we sang. The rawness brought reality that we were basically restating our marriage vows on the bed that we were about to consummate our vows on. And I sang the last line I looked up at him while wiping his tears and shifted my pelvic and stated that I loved him and pressed down on him.
My body convulsed with pleasure and pain. He gently rocked his hips and I slowly and cautiosly matched his movement and I felt my innocence ripped and with a hiss and almost painful kiss I became one with Christopher Allen Ryan Raposo. The one that God saw in my future all along.
We made love for the next two hours and after we prayed we took a long hot bath.
I was addicted to him in that instance. My life will never be the same again.