Fresh Start Challenge Day 12: No More Miss Nice Girl

Seriously where the heck was this picture 2 years ago? That was my biggest pet peeve. Maybe I am a snob when it comes to a man and his car. Either make it TRUE vintage or make it big and fast.

So yes, I am discussing a few things with my ex in this post today. I have written about him before on blog. I want to change my tune this time.

I would thank you for Chris but I had met Chris long before you. So no thanks to you really, the only thing I want to say is that you pissed me off to the point I wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to date a real man. So I guess in a way I get to thank you for the large diamond on my finger.

I also get to thank you for introducing me to my friends that I can say something about you and they add on to it with facts instead of friends who just nod. These are the girls that have contemplated going Carrie Underwood on your POS car. We all smile because seriously the men we found after you have all been the best thing in our lives. We could blind you with the shine coming from us and on our hands.

Thank you also for pushing me to see my real potential. My social self esteem shot higher than ever before in my life. I found my personality right after you. It makes me feel good to realize that I am not a shy quiet nerd, but instead a bold, sultry vixen.

I realized in my life I will come across obstacles but I pray to God that I never act like your or other whiny people in my life. I seen the potential my life has to be amazing and whining and being selfish is not going to get me to that goal!

And to your mother:

Thanks for lying to my future MIL, ya know the one that is going to be an awesome mother law and not a nosy bitch? Yeah her. She knew damn well you were the one that said Chris and I wouldn't last until our wedding. Oh honey you and your son should learn by now I take any negativity said about me and make it a challenge. And with Chris? I plan to burn this challenge down. I also don't care what you think about me and Chris waiting until a couple nights later. Because you know what?!?! OVER HALF of couple today do not consummate their vows on their wedding night. Don't believe me? Well thanks to my lovely future husband I have proof. And as far as what I didn't do for you realize I just didn't want you having my address. Unlike you I like my life being pretty much private. 

Fresh Start Challenge Day 11: The Way to Any Man's Heart Is Through His Stomach

Pinterest Picture/ Original Link Here

This is probably one of the most request dishes Chris ask from me. He loves Enchilada Lasagna. I came across the recipe a couple of years ago on Pinterest. (Yeah I was a member back when it was only by email.)

I enjoy making this for my friends and my family. It makes for something different in our house. I love it just because it's so different than what we normally make.

Ingredients 

• 2 tbsp of vegetable oil
• 1 lbs chicken breast, chopped to bite pieces
• 1 can of cream of celery
• 1 can of cream of chicken
• 5 cups of mexican blend cheese
• 1 1/2 cups sour cream
• 1/4 cup canned and chopped green chillies (drained)
• small corn tortillas
• 1 tsp cumin
• 2 tsp salt
• 1/2 tsp pepper

Directions:

Start out by preheating the oven 425 degrees. 

Brown chicken in a pan on 2 tbsp of oil. Season with salt and pepper.

In a bowl combine cream of celery, cream of chicken, sour cream and green chilies.

Prepare the dish you will assemble the lasagna in. 

Put 1/2 cup of cream mix on the bottom of the baking dish and spread. 

Layer a row of tortillas followed with cream mix, chicken and cheese. 

You should be able to make 3 layers like this. Last layer doesn't need chicken, just a ton of cheese.

Let it bake for about 20 minutes or until cheese is nice and melted and golden brown on top!

Fresh Start Challenge Day 10: The Guiltiest

My guilty pleasure are pretty simple:


1) I love a good long bubble bath! The more bubble the happier I am. It's one of my favorite things to do on Thursdays.

2) Since I cannot take a bubble bath every day my next relaxation is a large glass of wine. I have been drinking wine since I was 9 years old. It's not a big deal in my home country.

3) Having dessert before actually eating dinner. Chris gets onto me all the time for doing this but let's face it. We only live once and sometimes you just pull into the Dairy Queen for a mini Blizzard before going home and making supper.

4) I have a tendency to eat the pickles from the jar.

5) Laying in my garden in the middle and daydreaming.

6) I like to read erotica. Why hide it?

7) Dressing up. Any excuse makes me happy these days.

8) Cool Whip right out the container.

9) Watching Chris. Seriously when is the wedding again?

10) Telling the lady at the bank there are two children in the car and keeping the extra sucker for myself.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 9: What Was I Thinking?

When I was given this challenge I was thinking today would be easy I could talk about my kiss with Chris on Lent...

However, last night I had some alcohol in my system from all the crap being thrown at at me. And I felt like shoving my tongue down my friend's fiance we would be a good idea. I would love to say that it was just a second thing however, that's not the case. We kept on and kept on. So technically mine was a drunk stupor kiss.

And I have two requests to know if I enjoyed it. I kind of did but I was trying to not concentrate on the HP freak sitting on the steps that I really wanted to be kissing. Your next ;)

We will come back to this day next Sunday! Trust me. Wow....

Fresh Start Challenge Day 8: It Could Comeback

I try my hardest to not worry about things. I take things in stride for the most part and I handle most things with prayer. And even though I pray part of me still worries about Jackjack's cancer or Chris's cancer coming back. If either one of my boy's has a bout of cancer I think I would lose my spine that I have carefully built up in the past three years. Everything else I can handle. I don't like seeing my boys in pain. It hurts my heart profoundly. I could careless what happens to me.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 7: Family Isn't Always Blood.

Part of me wants to write about all of my siblings and family members. I love my blood family dearly. My dad is an amazing man with faults. They tell me my mother was a Saint. My older brothers were my rock and shields for many years. Charlotte was my best friend until the day she died. And my baby brothers? I miss them, except for two of them.

Why don't I miss those two? Well one of them my cousin Viv is raising though right now with all she is going through my dad has him. And the other one has become my son. Jackjack will be mine legally in October.

Bridgitte is the cousin that I grew up with all of my life. We traveled the world together. Anything we wanted to do we did it during the school breaks.

And my family now?

Chris is one heck of a husband! He provides well for me and Jackjack. We are already a perfect little family.

Mary Ann is an amazing sister in-law already.

Frankie is so sweet and caring.

To all of the rest of you who I spend all of my time talking to you and hanging out with you know I love you more than my own blood.

Birchbox April 2014

Fekkai Technician Color Care Shampoo ~ I actually use the Fekka Apple Cider shampoo while on vacation and near the beach because it really cuts back on the frizz. I am excited to try this. Because the red hair is coming for the wedding. I think my mom would be proud.

Color Club Gala’s Gems Collection (Gold Struck) ~ This is a nice soft rose gold color. I liked it right away. It's now on my toes. It's different for me. Hunter has rose gold growing on me.

Rose Terra Organics Rose Hips Black Soap Deep Pore Facial Cleanser ~ I have never tried this. However, Hunter, had and she said she highly recommends it. I'm really excited to try this for many reasons. I hope it works well.

KIND Snacks Healthy Grains Bar – Maple Pumpkin Seeds with Sea Salt ~ This was delicious! I loved it! I love KIND snacks.

theBalm cosmetics How ‘Bout Them Apples? Cheek & Lip Cream ~ Hunter uses this and she loves it. I love theBalm products because it's a nice vintage feel to them plus they have such a good quality. I think I might buy the whole set.

I love Ipsy but I have loved Birchbox as well. True this box has been better than other boxes here in the recent few. However, with Ipsy they usually give stuff that I can go to any drugstore, Ulta, or Target and buy. Birchbox does give sample and small sizes of products however it's unique and new lines. For $10 it's not terrible. 

My Best Friend

She didn't like me to begin with and I felt so insecure around her. Now she jumps on my back and I give her help with her make-up.

Mary Ann scared the hell out of me the first day at my new job. I barely spoke and I let the kids walk all over me. She point blank stood in the teacher's lounge and told me I would last long. Her perfectly even French manicure with sparkle line across it and 5 inch heels scared me.

Then my fourth day on the job I saw her wounds and scars and I halted her that day. She looked completely different. She looks scared and in that instance things changed. She started talking to me more and more. I started telling her everything about me. We would pile up in the lounge in the afternoons and talk and goof off as long as Madame said it was okay. We would write letters to parents and then talk about our lives.

She introduced me to a whole new world of make up besides vintage. She taught me how to make more and more daily looks that were inspired by vintage but wasn't completely vintage. She expanded my wardrobe giving me things she no longer wanted or needed.

We were joined at the hip after that. We have our ups and downs. She annoys me and I annoy her. But we have each other's back in an instant no matter the circumstances. Heck our significant others are even twins. So we will be sisters soon.

Fresh Start Day 6: My Snape

Chris has always reminded me of Snape.
Snape was my favorite character long before book 7 ever came out. I had a thing for guys with long hair and crooked noses.

What people see Chris do is save the world and conquer it.

What his employees see him do is a fire people and be an ass.

What the world sees him as is a kid that got lucky and was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.

What his friends think he does is shake things up selfishly.

What he thinks he does is come up short with helping people.

What I see him do is love this friends and family beyond measure.  I love him beyond anything I have ever experienced.

The world wants to tear him down but I am the quiet one and trust me I am a natural red head just watch my temper shine.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 5: Endearing

1) Talk about cars all the time. Seriously my Angry Birds get excited what guys talk about cars around me.
2) Tell me you are a huge fan of something then barely know anything about it. Seriously you know all about Harry Potter but don't know who Winky is? Seriously you are a huge Alabama fan but you have no idea who Gene Stallings is?
3) Sure just because I was nice that means I want to jump your bones.
4) Sure I'll listen to your dating advice because your track is so stellar. (Cough, guy's divorced mom as well, cough)
5) Yes I love it when you exaggerate, no I don't feel like you are lying to me.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 4: Sweeping

It's rare that I sleep anything other than a negligee, a chemise or a babydoll. I usually have the matching robe. I haven't always been like this. This habit started about three years ago and it just stuck. It makes me feel luxurious even though most of mine are not expensive at all.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 3: Give

I have talked about the charities I support through the history of my blog. I like to look at what the awareness is for each month and give to those programs that way no one is left out.

Movember

Always Aware

November Awarness

RAINN

Fresh Start Challenge Day 2: Slurp

My one thing I do when no one is around me?

I eat straight out of the container. Cool whip becomes an amazing dessert in a convenient bowl with a lid. Leftovers get put straight into the microwave and when it's warmed up yep I eat it right out of it's container.

 I will drink milk out of the gallon container. I will drink wine straight out of the bottle. Granted it's not what I do every time I'm completely alone but if I have had a crappy or stressful day. This is what I do.

Fresh Start Challenge Day 1: Odette

O - Old-Fashion

D - Dependable

E - Eloquent

T - Temperamental

T - Trustworthy

E - Extraordinary

Day 7: Gemini

I am not but I know some people that are Geminis and they don't fit this at all. 

Again I love to laugh over nice comical things. 

I couldn't even remember what sign I was under I had to go look it up. And yes of these I found they fit me. But I know some other people who have this sign and they seriously do not fit some of these. So this is really pointless to me.

Day 6: 30 Facts About Me

1. I love to garden but I like to have a whimsical garden and not an ordinary one.
2. Ferris Wheel are highly romantic to me even when Chris shakes it.
3. I compare myself to other when Chris is around me. Weird I know but I honestly do not do it when he is around.
4. I prefer to bake over cooking.
5. I named my brother Jackjack who is now my adoptive son, Yes I was obsessed with The Incredibles.
6. I used to want be Britney Spears. 
7. I even had Justin Timberlake on my walls.
8. Warp Tour always feels amazing when I go to it!
9. I brush my non dominant hand because it's a scientific fact that using your non dominant makes you more careful and more detailed in brushing.
10. If I could only have two more desserts for the rest of my life it would be milkshakes and cheesecake (Ridge's preferably.)
11. Homemade fries are way more delicious to me than me.
12. I dip sour cream and onion potato chips into chocolate ice cream.
13. I hate the show Storage Wars.
14. I love regular candle but I have fake candles for emergencies.
15. I make my own laundry detergent. $5 gets me 5 gallons. 
16. I love dancing; I know say I get tired of it however, I love being that close to Chris.
17. One crazy thing you would find in my house that if I died you would have a hard time explaining would be flip flops in the freezer.
18. I have stripped at a bar before. No we do not need the details of that.
19. I have part ownership of a bowling alley.
20. I can tie knots in cherries stems with my tongue.
21. Now that I can do them vertical sit ups are my favorite
22. I have been listening to Engima way before 50 Shades Grey mentioned it.
23. I hate when people turn house lights on during the day. Seriously the sun isn't good enough for you!?!
24. I have 7 different dress forms. I plan out my outfits on each one.
25. Assuming things about me is a quick way to piss me off. That's one thing I'm not laid back on.
26. I have gotten away from crazy make up and have started more neutral looks.
27. You touch my future husband or my child in a way I don't approve trust me heaven is where you praying you will end because you'll be living in hell.
28. I would prefer winter year round. 
29. I love to make adult popsicles.
30. When I start having nightmares I place an icepack on my back and go to sleep. No more nightmares.

Day 5: Last Resort

Have I ever thought about ending my own life?

Yes, I have. Shhh I can hear all the gasps.
You have to realize what losing your sister who you have shared a room with all of your life is like to understand that even though my faith is strong part of me still wanting it all to end.

I thought about it twice. Once was right after her funeral. Nobody was going to miss me so I went for a walk. I walked to the bridge. I cried and cried on that bridge. I was able to see the tops of the trees where we found her body. I sat on the side of the bridge.

What stopped me from jumping? My shoe fell off. I watched it as it fell and I knew then I wouldn't jump.

The second time I considered ending my life, I almost succeeded.

My brothers were/are still upset about what happened to Charlotte just as I was. They aided in me trying to kill myself but they didn't know it at the time. I purposefully let Jared's knife slammed into my side. I ran from my brothers. They thought I was going to tell dad and instead I ran where we found her. Jared realized what I had done and chewed me out. After his talk with me I realized that Charlotte wouldn't want that and neither would my mother.

Day 4: Religion

"If you prayed for a sunny day and it still rains God is watering the food that someone, maybe you, will eat some day." - I'm not sure of the original author I found it in my mom's journal.

I have to remind myself of this often. And why does it seem like God is letting the suffering come to those that are doing His will. Simple: He gives us the strength to endure. Not to become hopeless and lethargic. 

I am a strong willed Christian. 

However, I'm not a straight lace Christian. I drink wine, I listen to secular music, and I let the occasional curse word slip here and there. 

I'm human, I'm not Jesus. 

What sets me aside from the lost?

I seek forgiveness three times a day, I try to do better and do right, and I know God is real. 

I have a whole section dedicated to my life as a Christian; Here.